Danette’s Revised Composition
Caught in the Rain
One sunny morning, Jack and his friends Jacob, John, and Lucas were
playing soccer at East Coast Park. They were having fun, kicking the ball
around when they heard a loud thud of thunder. The sky had turned dark,
and soon, it started drizzling.
After a short while, the rain got heavier.
“Let’s stop playing!” Jack shouted.
Suddenly, it began pouring cats and dogs! The boys ran back home because the
rain was just too strong.
When Jack was running home, water was pouring down on his head and hair.
Once he got home, he was drenched. Water dripped from his hair to his legs and
down to the floor.
Then he caught a cold. His mother was as fierce as a lion. She scolded him and gave him medicine and pills so he could get better.
✍️ ✍️ Alexis’ Revised Composition
Drenched in the Rain
One sunny morning, Joseph was playing football with his friends. They
went to meet up at East Coast Park. He did not notice that the clouds were
getting darker and darker.
It started to rain. They saw lightning flashing in the sky, so they
decided to stop playing football. They were drenched! Joseph ran, slipped and
fell. His friends helped him up. The rain went pitter patter, pitter patter.
They heard thunder rumbling loudly. Joseph covered his ears. It was raining
cats and dogs!
He decided to run home. When he reached home, he was drenched to the
skin. He shivered and his clothes were dripping wet. He took a thick towel and
wrapped it around his body. He felt cold and took a hot bath. His mother
scolded him for being naughty and not telling her that he went to play with his friends.
Joseph went to rest in bed. His mother gave him medicine, took his
temperature, and gave him hot tea. He promised his mother that he would tell
her where he was going next time.
Joseph learned that he should always check the weather and inform his parents before he goes outside.
✏️ Uma’s Revised Composition – Caught in the Rain
One sunny afternoon, Jake and his
friends were playing football in the field. Laughter filled the air as they
kicked the ball back and forth. Suddenly, Jake felt a cold drop of water land
on his nose. He looked up and saw dark, grey clouds rolling across the sky.
“It’s nothing,” Jake said bravely,
brushing it off. But soon, a loud clap of thunder boomed like a drum in the
sky. Rain poured down in heavy sheets.
“Run!” shouted one of the boys.
Jake and his friends dashed in all
directions to find shelter. His friends quickly found a place to hide, but Jake
got separated and wandered through the storm. Cold rain soaked his clothes and
he shivered as he hurried home, his shoes squelching with every step.
When Jake finally reached home, his
mother gasped. “You’re soaking wet!” she said, handing him a warm towel. “Go
take a hot shower right away.”
After the shower, Jake lay on his bed.
His mother gave him some medicine and a cup of warm tea. Then, she checked his
temperature with a thermometer. It showed thirty-nine degrees Celsius!
Jake felt tired but grateful. He
promised himself that next time, he would head home before the rain
came.
